- Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
- Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
- There is no darkness in Andheri.
- Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
- No king ever stayed at Kings Circle. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
- Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
- There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
- The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi..
- Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
- Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
- Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water
- Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
- Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
- Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies. But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
AMCHI MUMBAI
A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .
Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,
This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!
THINGS TO PROVE YOU’RE A BOMBAYITE
- You say ‘town ‘ and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
- You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi’, which only Bombayites can understand.
- Your door has more than three locks.
- Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
- Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
- You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
- You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.
- You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it’s a ‘steal.’
- You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
- Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road .
- Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
- The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the ‘Bombay Times’ supplement.
- You take fashion seriously. You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
- Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
- You compare Bombay to New York’s Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
- The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
- You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
- You consider eye contact an act of overt
- Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
- You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ”romantic’.
- Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken
